To Be Alone
by Fictionismylife78
Summary: Based off a prompt submitted by PeaceHeather. After a battle with the Lost Boys, Hook and Emma both believe the other one is dead. Both overcome with despair, Hook has allowed himself to be captured by the Lost Boys and Emma has escaped back to the Jolly Roger. Will either of them find out the truth?
1. Becoming Lonely

**This is my first CS fanfic so I hope you guys like it. I give credit to peaceheather because she created the prompt, I just wrote my own interpretation. I plan on this being a Three-Shot. Enjoy!**

_Part 1: Becoming Lonely_

"Who are these guys?" Emma screamed to Hook over the noise of running water as they battled a group of people in cloaks of browns and blacks.

"They call themselves the 'Lost Boys!'" Hook yelled back as he blocked a blade that could have nearly severed his left arm. "Quite a friendly lot! Don't you agree, love?"

Emma decided to grace his response with an eye roll as she fought off her own attacker. Not five minutes ago Hook and her were discussing possible areas on the island to search for Henry. They had been in Neverland for about two weeks and had turned up with no signs of Henry on any of the beaches. Each day Henry was gone, Emma became more and more restless and their whole group could tell she was beginning to fall apart. Emma was only seen smiling when Hook would respond to her words with his witty remarks and innuendos. Their banter made her feel like things were back to the way they were before and after slowly becoming friends with Hook, she had begun to call him Killian.

It had been decided to search further inland but to stay away from Indian and Mermaid territory until they had no where else to check. Each day two to three people would go and scout the island while the others stayed and guarded the ship. Today was Emma and Hook's turn. They had gone through an hour worth of forest and reached a river that they had decided to follow it downstream in hope of a sign of some-sort. As luck would have it, once they had gotten to the end of the river where it rushed into a waterfall, they were ambushed and cornered to the edge of the cliff where the water dropped off.

"Why are they attacking us?" Emma yelled to her right as she got close enough to one of her attackers to strike him in the temple with the hilt of her sword, dropping him to the ground.

"They know we want Henry and either they have him, or they are looking for him too," Hook paused as he sliced one of the Lost Boys in the shoulder and then kicked him in the chest to push him away, " and they see us as a threat."

Just as the army of Lost Boys began to decrease in number, more came out of the trees and separated Hook and Emma from each other. After what seemed like hours of Emma fighting the Lost Boys to get back in eye-sight of Hook, she hears a howl of pain which sounds like it came from Hook. Her eyes widen in sudden fear and she starts to slice her sword in the air at her attackers, not caring how much blood she sheds. She has to find Killian.

The numbers begin to decrease again but she can not find Hook. She is about to yell for him as she begins to fight a smaller boy in a black cloak when she glimpses something on the ground. She kicks the boy with as much power she can muster in the stomach and draws her attention to the ground and she freezes uncomprehendingly as she sees a piece of black leather and Killian's hook covered in a layer of blood and laying on the forest ground.

She slowly picks up his hook in a trance and stares at it, slightly trembling. Though her mind was telling her he was killed by the Lost Boys her heart was telling her it was impossible. He did not go anywhere without his hook and he would want it back when she found him. She had to find him.

"Killian?" she cried out in question, feeling alone. She began to walk further into the woods when a lost boy came at her, pushing her towards the water. In a rush, she took the hook and plunged it into the boys throat before pulling it out and whimpered as the boy dropped. She tried to think of these attackers as anything but children, but they looked like children and many of them were the size as boy. Boys like Henry.

Without a warning, the smaller boy she had kicked away from her earlier came at her with a tree branch and swung it, slamming the branch into her face and making her jump back and lose her footing in both surprise and pain, falling right off the edge into the waterfall.

She did not have time to scream as water enveloped her and pushed her down the side of the cliff. Her stomach flew up into her throat as she struggled to breath and got caught in the water. Darkness surrounded her by the time she hit the bottom.

* * *

When Hook was in battle he fought as if he were angry. He was unable to think about anything but his opponents and their dueling weapons. And the fact that his opponents had separated him and Emma made him furious. He knew from past experiences that the Lost Boys were nothing like boys from his world. They had no moral code or ethics. They had no guilt when it came to killing so neither did Hook. As they pushed him further and further into the woods he just fought harder and harder, taking them down with a passion.

He could not forgive himself if any of the boys hurt Emma. He knew from experience that her fighting skills were weak and the thought of her losing tore at him. Emma had made him feel emotions he had not felt in centuries. If he lost her he would truly be alone.

As he sliced through one of the boys shoulders, another grabbed his hook and twisted it off. He was not fast enough in pulling his blade out of the boys body to stop the other one from striking Killian in the side with his own hook. He cried out in pain and cut at the boys stomach, making the boy drop his hook as his own blood covered it. Another boy sliced at his same side and cut his coat that was coated in Killian's blood. Killian growled and slammed the hilt of his sword into the boys head knocking him out cold.

The numbers began to decrease but they had succeeded in pushing him away from Emma since the rushing water was now a distant hum. He hated to appear weak but he had to see where Emma was so he threw his sword at one of Lost Boys and then ran towards where he left Emma. When he heard his name called out by her, he quickened his pace.

When he finally saw Emma he grinned. She was holding his hook and had a look of determination and…something else he could not place set on her face. He should have never doubted her abilities. He was about to run into the small clearing of the forest when he saw a lost boy run at her. She dug his hook into the boys neck but was too focused on that to notice the boy with the tree branch attack her.

"Emma!" He shouted and ran towards her but it was too late. She had fallen off the cliff into the falls. His blood turned to ice as he stood there for a moment in total despair. He ran at the boy while taking a dagger out of his belt and buried it into the boy's throat and then tossed him to the ground as he looked over the edge. She was no where to be seen. He stood still as he relived her exit in horror.

He heard footsteps beginning to surround him but he did not care. He collapsed to his knees and stared at the grass as he began to realize she was gone. She was the one thing that did not remind him of his lifetime of suffering and revenge. Now he had no one. He should have died, not her. One angry tear fell from his face as the Lost Boys tied his hands behind him and then slammed a rock over his head, silencing the thoughts that tormented him.


	2. Learning To Be Lonely

**Hey guys, thanks for all the encouragement so far! I love CS so to see other fans supporting me is amazing. I plan on only one more chapter to this story, making it a three-shot like I originally planned. Also, I listened to the song Learn To Be Lonely from Phantom of the Opera (I am a loser, I know) while writing this chapter and it helped me write it, so this chapter was inspired and kind of titled after it. Credit for the prompt goes to PeaceHeather! Enjoy!**

_Part 2: Learning To Be Lonely_

_Killian was in a mad dance of clattering blades and splattering blood with three Lost Boys deep in, what appeared to be, a forest and he seemed to be winning. One boy with dirty, matted hair and black eyes swung a sword towards his neck but Killian blocked the blow and disarmed the boy with his hook without a second glance as Killian stabbed the neighboring blonde boy in the thigh. The blonde dropped to one knee in pain and Killian slammed his elbow into the boys temple knocking him out. He began to fight the one to the left of him that wore a black cloak that was too large for his body. This one seemed to be more skilled and they began to fight all around the trees, metal clashing and parrying the other as the blades dueled._

_While this was happening, Emma watched behind a large oak tree, unable to speak or move. All Emma wanted to do was help Killian finish the battle so she would not be afraid for his safety. She knew he had little to no weaknesses so he would win the battle hands down, but her gut still clenched when she saw a blade almost graze his shoulder or his chest._

_Killian finally had cornered the boy into a trunk of a tree and had his sword against the boys neck. He was about to finish the blow when something caught his eye. He turned and met eyes with his Swan. He stared at her in surprise for a moment before he grinned at her. He had thought he was alone in the forest._

_Emma matched his grin with her own as her heart began to race and realized she was now able to move. She began to walk towards him when something wrong flashed across his face. He stepped back from the tree, his sword falling to the ground as he grabbed at his stomach. She was about to ask what his problem was when she saw what he had grabbed onto: a dagger, protruding from his stomach. She looked over at the boy Killian had up against the tree and saw that his hands were covered in Killian's blood._

_She gasped in fear and dropped next to Killian as he fell to his knees in pain. She stared into his eyes, and into his soul, as he panted for air. She carefully pushed him onto his back and tears ran down her face as she tried to figure out what to do. She had never dealt with a stabbing. She looked into Killian's eyes and watched as they began to become distant. She was about to put her hand to his cheek when another hand grabbed hers. A bloody one. She looked up and her eyes widened as she stared right into the face of her missing son._

_"Hey Mom." He said happily as if he had not just murdered a man. "It is a shame he had to die. But it was going to happen anyway. What did you expect when you brought him on a suicide mission to find me? His blood is on your hands." Henry smiled at her and looked down at her hands. Emma looked down also, to find her hands covered in blood and holding the dagger that had killed Killian._

Emma woke up gagging on river water with half of her body on the shore while her legs floated uselessly in the water. Killian and her had left at day break and it was now twilight. She dragged herself onto the dirt as she tried to remember why her whole entire body hurt like a bitch. Then it all came back to her: the sword fighting, the bloody hook on the ground, being hit in the face with a tree branch and falling down a waterfall that might have been four meters smaller then Niagara Falls. But none of that hurt her as much as being reminded of Hook being dead.

Emma ripped off the weeds that had clung to her while she had floated down stream and began walking towards the falls as she attempted to keep the visions from driving her crazy. She had to stop at moments and close her eyes as she choked on a sob. Killian was gone and it was her fault. She found a small inclined path near the waterfall that lead to the top and trekked up it. When she finally got to the top, she saw something twinkle in the light and walked over to it to find Killian's hook somewhat imbedded into the ground.

Emma yanked the hook out of the ground and stared at it emotionlessly before she tucked it into her front pants pocket and started walking upstream to where Killian and her began their search. About an hour later she was stepping into the sand on the beach where their row boat was docked. The sun had set but she could see the lights from the ship shining on the water and knew she could get there, though slowly since it would only be her rowing. She emptied herself of all feelings and set to work pushing the boat into the water and rowing herself towards Killian's ship. About 20 minutes later Emma was next to the Jolly Rodger.

"Mary Margaret! David! Throw down the ladder! I am back!" Emma shouted as loud as she could, hoping the waves hitting the ship did not drown out her cry. A minute later she saw a group of heads looking down at her as a ladder was thrown to her. Wordlessly she climbed up.

"Emma, where is Hook?" Mary Margaret asked when she climbed into the ship, concern written all over her face. Emma had begun to walk away but turned to look back at all their questioning faces. She opened her mouth to respond but no words came out. She choked on a sob as she tried to tell them again and her eye sight began to blur with unshed tears. Emma bowed her head in defeat and took Killian's blood-covered hook out of her pocket and threw it at their feet before turning around and heading towards Killian's cabin.

Emma heard their gasps and their whispering but she ignored it as she walked into the Captains Quarters and locked the door behind her. Emma was the last one to see Hook alive and the guilt itself was killing her. She took off her dirty jacket, shoes and pants and curled up in a ball under Killian's covers, imagining the things he would say to her if he caught her wearing just a tank top and some panties in his bed. But she knew he would not. Not anymore.

She began to cry silently into his pillows as she heard her mother knocking on the cabin doors. She could not talk to any of them. They would sympathize with her, but they would not understand what she was feeling. They did not know him like she did. The way they would discuss trivial things under the stars as everyone slept or the way he would chuckle in confusion when she would use a phrase he did not understand. If Killian had not allowed them to use his ship and offer his help to find her son, he would not be dead. Her love for her son had killed him. That is why the words Henry said in her dreams kept haunting her. She believed them to be true. She cried herself to sleep with Henry's word echoing in her ear.

_"His blood is on your hands…"_

* * *

Hook had been awoken by his face being shoved into a large bucket of water. With his hands and feet being tied to the chair he was currently sitting in, he had no control over whether he drowned, until the person drowning him relented. While knocked out, the Lost Boys had dragged his body, rather aggressively, to their hideout to interrogate him and torture him. Hook was unable to tell where in Neverland he was, but he could tell it was underground by how moist and dark his surroundings were.

"What the hell do you want with us… with me." Hook shouted, gagging on water, until the realization of him being alone hit him full force, making him pause before finishing his sentence quietly. Throughout his entire life, Hook had felt alone, except for the small parts he spent with Milah and Baelfire. Learning to be lonely had always been easy before. But the loneliness he felt now was more powerful and agonizing than he had ever felt. Emma was the one person he had met that had truly understood him and cared for his entire self and now his last chance at a new life and salvation was gone. Dead.

"We want to know where the boy is." Answered a Lost Boy with blonde hair and devious eyes. "We need him. He is destined and the shadow requires him."

Hook stared at the boy for a long moment before asking in an exhausted voice, "What is he destined for?"

The boy grinned darkly at one of his comrades before turning back to Hook. "That is not for us to say. Now where is he?"

"I don't know, mate. We were looking for him too." said Hook in a strained voice. He did not want to have to think of her or her son. The pain her memory inflicted on him was tangible.

"We know you know where he is." responded the blonde with an angry glint in his eyes.

"I honestly don't. I will not be able to help. Sorry." deadpanned Hook.

"If you aren't going to help us willingly, we will make you help by force, Captain." The blonde sneered before punching him hard in his left eye. It went on like that, with the Lost Boys trying to beat information out of him until he passed out. But even the punches could not hurt him now. The blonde woman he loved was the only thing that could hurt him and when he would pass out, he got to see her smiling at him. When he slept, he found peace.

Eventually Hook would awaken, and then they would drown him more, or beat him, or use some of the pixie's special dust that burnt human skin. This happened on and off for two days until the third day. He had gotten punched hard in the face and it had brought back the memory of Emma getting rammed in the face with a tree branch. The flashback of her falling off a cliff to her death was his last straw, not being able to take the insanity caused by torture anymore.

"ENOUGH!" Hook roared, his expression unforgiving.

The original blonde Lost Boy chuckled and walked into Hooks view. "Do you have the information we ask of you?"

"Yes, but you must make good on your word and release me once you have the information you require." Hook panted out, barely able to see any of the Lost Boys out of his bloody and swollen eyes.

"We give you our word. We will let you go when you tell us where the boy is." he assured, trying to sound reasonable. "Now, where is he?"

"He is hiding in a cove in Mermaid Lagoon. The red-headed mermaid knows where he is and will bring you to him." Hook explained quickly, hoping this worked. He did not care if he died at this point, he just wanted an end to all his pain, whether it by being released from them or life.

"Thank you. It was nice to see you again, Captain." The blonde chuckled, his empty eyes staring at him as if he were a pathetic child. Hook closed his eyes, knowing what was coming, and imagined Emma smiling and rolling her beautiful eyes as a rock came down on his temple. He was not able to tell whether it was hard enough to kill him or just to knock him out, but darkness overcame him either way and he embraced it.


	3. Finding Yourself Not Entirely Lonely

**Sorry, this is a short chapter! I am leaving to go house boating in an hour and felt I needed to post something before I left for a couple of days. I did not have enough time to make this one long chapter, so this Three-shot will now be a Four-shot. Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favorites! I really appreciate it! Please look pass any of the grammar errors I made, because I wrote this in a hurry. Enjoy!**

_Part 3: Finding Yourself Not Entirely Lonely_

Ever since the night Emma had come back from her search for Henry alone, Mary Margaret had been worried sick about her daughter. Her daughter's sorrow seemed to seep into the air and make everyone feel melancholy. The morning fog appeared thicker and grayer, the water seemed colder and the night seemed blacker.

The first night when Mary Margaret had tried to talk to Emma and bring her food, she got no response from behind Hook's cabin doors. The only time she heard her daughter at all that first night was at the dead of night. Mary Margaret had been sitting on the stairs of the ship, not able to sleep from worrying about Emma and Henry and mourning Hook's death, when she had heard the whimpering coming from the cabin. As she had got up and walked closer to Hook's room, she had heard Emma's whimpers turn to sobs as she choked on sleep-induced words. When Mary Margaret tried to get into the cabin she seemed to have woken up Emma because the noises stopped and turned to silence.

"Emma?" Mary Margaret had asked, hoping to get a response from her daughter but she just heard a few sniffles before again being welcomed by silence.

The next day, Charming tried to break down the door, worried that something had happened to Emma, but it appeared that Emma had cast a protection spell around the cabin, which she had learned from some of Regina's magic lessons, making it impossible for anyone to enter. Regina and Gold did not see the importance in seeing if Emma was okay in there, so no help came their way regarding the spell. That night she again heard Emma crying, but this time she was able to make out what Emma was whispering.

"Killian!" Emma had gasped in a heart-broken manner as Mary Margaret had pressed her ear to the door. She then proceeded to choke out, "I am so sorry." like she way begging for forgiveness. This went on for a while before her nightmares gave her some peace and allowed her to slip into a silent rest.

Eventually, Mary Margaret and Charming gave up on trying to open the door and decided to give her the solitude she wished for, knowing she is strong and will come out when she knew she is able to put her walls back up. She had been through losses worse than this and she would survive.

On the third day of Emma's absence, it was Charming and Mary Margaret's turn to search for Henry on the island. They did not wish to leave the ship with Emma in the state she was in, but they knew she would not be leaving that room anytime soon, so a few hours searching for Henry would do the group some good. Charming and Mary Margaret got into the small rowboat and lowered themselves into the water, waves immediately hitting the boat once they were free from the Jolly Rodger. They began to row towards the main land when Mary Margaret began to speak.

"Where do you believe Henry could be?" she asked her husband in a business-like tone.

"I have no idea. With Hook gone, we really have no idea where we are or where we are going. The only one even capable of steering the ship, besides him, is Emma and we know she won't be steering the ship anytime soon." Charming responded, scowling in confusion as he tried to understand why his daughter responded the way she did to Hook's death.

"Snow, do you think something was going on between Hook and Emma? I cant understand why she is reacting to his death this way." Charming asks his wife with concern, moving the row through the water as they get closer to the shore.

"I don't know, David. All I know is that Hook is the one of the first people to come back for her. Ever since him coming back, they have-had gotten close. They were friends." Snow explained, feeling sympathy for her daughter. Charming shook his head in guilt. They had not wanted to leave Emma and the fact that she found closure in Hook, a man Charming did not trust, made him feel even worse. Charming was about to continue when they hit land. They became silent as they pulled the boat onto shore and then began to trek up the beach. Mary Margaret had just about hit where the sand began to meet the trees when she heard a groan. She looked down and nearly screamed.

* * *

Hook awoke to a splitting headache and the vague feeling of possible broken bones. He had felt worse though. The fact that he had woken up meant that they had believed in the fake whereabouts he had given them for Henry. They should have known the mermaids would not be stupid enough to hide a boy from the shadow. Luckily, they did not think things through, like the children they were, and he got away with his life. His meaningless life.

He groaned when he attempted to open his eyes and face ached. He heard a yelp and slowly opened his eyes, to be blinded by the daylight. He heard a gasp to the right of him and finally was able to see enough to see two familiar faces staring down at him in shock.

"Hello your majesties. Long time no see?" Hook groaned out before smirking in a careless manner, trying to hide his pain and not seem weak in front of the King and Queen.

"Three days, Hook. We thought you were dead." Charming explained in an abrupt manner, attempting to get over his surprise. It was not every day you saw a man come back from the grave.

"Emma thinks you are dead." whispered Mary Margaret in a confused and upset voice.

"Emma? Emma!" he yelled, furious, as he pushed himself up on his elbows and stared daggers at Snow as he continued. "Are you mocking me? Is your daughters demise a joke to you, Milady? I do not see how you can bring her up so casually."

"What do you mean by her demise?" Charming asked staring at him in a confused state as he asked him what they were both wondering. "Emma is alive on your ship. She, along with everyone else on the ship, believes you are the one that died. We even have your bloody hook." Charming said, pointing to Hook's hookless arm.

"You have my hook?" Hook asked, staring uncomprehendingly at Charming, unable to believe what they were saying.

"Yes, Hook. Come back to the ship with us." Mary Margaret said, hoping he will come back without a fight. It seemed he had been beaten and was dehydrated to the point of being delirious. They needed to figure out where he had been, but more importantly, they had to get him back to Emma.

"What's the point? Why are you not trying to stab me, King? Your daughter-is dead because of me." Hook asked, choking on the part where he spoke of Emma.

"It's okay Hook. Everything will be okay." Snow reassured Hook as he began to pass out from the pain and the lack of nutrients of any kind for about three days, excluding the water that he choked on when he was being drowned. Mary Margaret and Charming hauled Hook up and dragged him to the row boat in a slight stupor as the revelation of Hook being alive finally soaked in. They just needed to show Emma now. They began rowing towards the Jolly Rodger with renewed hope.


	4. No Longer Lonely

**Hey Guys! I know it has been FOREVER since I updated. I have been on and off vacations since last I talked to you guys and have been away from my computer. I am really sorry about that. Thank you for sticking with me! I hope I have given you the ending you wished for and deserve. I own no rights to these characters. I also got some of the lines from Gone With The Wind, if anyone thinks something sounds familiar. Lastly, I would like to give PeaceHeather a huge thanks for creating this prompt and pushing me to continue this story when I was absent. Enjoy and please feel free to tell me what you think!**

_Part 4: No Longer Lonely_

Emma walked out of Killian's cabin after three days of solitude feeling empty and lost. She had woken up that day and just stared at the cabin door, trying to put herself back together. She had gone through many deaths and heartbreaks throughout her life but the fact that she had been so distraught she had broken down, publicly, made her feel weak. His presence had healed her but his absence had quickly destroyed her. Not wanting her parents to hover over her and pity her, she waited for them to leave before getting dressed and opening the doors with a new mindset. She was just going to put her walls back up and let no one back in. Her break down was a great example why she should have never broken them down in the first place.

She decided her first destination would be the galley to get some water and food, feeling famished and dehydrated. As she walked into the galley, she nearly walked straight into Regina. Regina raised an eyebrow at her and her lips turned up into a smirk as she looked her up and down. Emma responded with raising an eyebrow of her own, challenging her to saw a word about her days of absence.

"Good morning, Miss. Swan." Regina murmured as she nodded to her before continuing on her way, up onto the deck.

"Welcome back, dearie!" exclaimed a voice to her right as she went to pick up a fruit that had been picked from the island. "One must be extremely tired to sleep for nearly three days."

"The heat makes me tired I guess." Emma rebuffed sarcastically as she turned to look at Gold sitting on a chair with his legs propped on the table in a most-relaxed fashion. Gold's behavior since coming to Neverland had been strange. The old Gold was much more stiff and business-like. It was hard to tell if his casual attitude was because of him getting used to his new family, or he felt more at ease in a magical realm.

"Well, you were sincerely missed, dearie." Gold replied, grinning like this some how amused him. Gold continued calmly, "The last thing we needed was to lose another crew member." Emma stilled for a moment before nodding at him with a blasé expression.

"Well, I am here now. I am going to go look at the maps to try to decide where we should look next." She said, turning around and grabbing a mug of water and her fruit before walking out of the room and onto the deck. She walked swiftly back into the Captain's cabin to grab some of the maps of Neverland, before running back out with them and bringing them up to the helm, not wanting to be in that room any longer or waste time when they could be trying to find Henry. For about thirty minutes, she studied the map, making notes of where they had not been yet. Gold and Regina occasionally came over to put their two cents in about where to search, but other than that, they did tedious jobs like polish the steps of the ship or make the cots in the crews quarters, not wanting to waste their energy using magic for insignificant jobs. Emma was looking at Skull Rock when her thoughts were interrupted by yells.

Emma looked down onto the main deck in confusion as she saw Gold and Regina rush to the side of the ship and throw down ropes and then begin pulling them up. It took her a minute, believing it was too short of a journey for it to be her parents, to realize they actually were pulling up Mary Margaret and Charming. She ran down to help, but they had already done the work and were tying the row boat to the ship when her parents began stepping out of it. She heard her father, still in the boat, conversing with Gold as Mary Margaret stepped out carefully.

"-has been muttering something about staying away from Mermaid Cove."

"-that was where you found him?"

"No, he was unconscious on the beach at the edge of the jungle."

"-not dead?"

Mary Margaret gave her a nervous smile and a relieved hug before running back to the boat to help Charming with something.

"Dad, what did you find on the beach?" Emma asked curiously and concerned. "Mom, what are you doin-" Emma began to ask when she saw Regina's eyes widen in surprise and Gold raise an eyebrow in astonishment, looking at something her mother's body was blocking her from seeing clearly. She strode towards the row boat and looked inside when she heard a small groan come from it as her parents strained to haul something out of the boat. Her eyes widened and she choked on another question she was about to ask when she looked a battered and bruised-looking Killian straight in the eyes.

Emma stepped a few steps back and covered her mouth with her right hand as she felt a mixture of shock, confusion and surprise overwhelm her. She watched, paralyzed, as her parents put each of his arms behind their necks and helped walk him onto the deck before helping him sit on a crate. She had thought this man was dead for three days and it had ruined her. Now, if she was not hallucinating or dreaming this, he was somehow back from the dead and sitting ten feet in front of her. She was torn from wanting to hide before more damage could be inflicted on her, believing this as a cruel joke of Neverland or running to him and embracing him, revealing to him her heartbreak from his supposed death and her secret love for this incorrigible man.

She decided against both though, knowing if she showed anything more than a normal crew members relief to their captain's return she would be revealing too much. His return just proved that she had a second chance and she was not going to destroy it by letting those new walls crumble down once more. She could not live if he somehow died -again- and it was her fault. Falling in love could only hurt her and him. So she knelt down next to him, observing his wounds so she would not have to look into his swollen, impossible blue eyes and break her resolve.

"I am glad to see you are okay, Hook." she told him as she observed a wound on his leg."How are you holding up? I was afraid you were dead."

Hook stared at her for a minute as if she were a deity. He lifted his hand to her cheek and caressed it with his thumb as he lifted her head to look him in the eyes. He had watched her fall off that cliff into the rough falls. He had looked over the edge to see nothing. The fact that she had lived and he was touching her was a miracle.

"Why would you be afraid? Aren't we dead, love?" he asked in a soft, non-thinking voice. "Is this not heaven, where we can be together? Because if not, I don't want to live another day like we have been. I almost lost you without telling you I lo-"

"I was afraid, because if you were dead, we would have no Captain to sail the ship. We are not dead." Emma cut in, not looking him in the eyes, knowing where his words were heading and her heart clenching at the thought. "You are here, only to help me find my son. That is what we were doing when we got separated. Correct?" she clarified, trying to make sure he knew their relationship was nothing but business. His eyes widened in confusion and disbelief before they hardened when she had looked back at them but there was something in them that told her this was not over.

"My apologies, Princess." he whispered, quickly removing his hand and unsteadily getting to his feet. "I was mistaken. I, also, am relieved to see I did not lose a crew member." He limped over to the steps, shaking off any help that came his way and holding back his groans of pain as he pulled himself to the wheel. He looked down at the maps before declaring they could have story time later but at the moment the must head off to Skull Rock. Everyone burst into action, untying the ropes and getting set to sail. Even the sudden movement could not stop the guilt from overcoming her from hurting Killian. If keeping her walls up was supposed to help her not get hurt, then she could not help asking herself why she was in so much pain.

* * *

The rest of that day went on silently, except for the wind that blew the sails and Hook shouting orders. Everyone was still shocked that Hook was not only alive but also working effectively. During dinner, Hook had told everyone what happened to him in those three days he was missing, avoiding Emma's gaze as he told his story. Emma then did the same, not putting much detail about her locking herself in his cabin for those three days. That night, Hook retired early for bed, leaving everyone to be able to talk for an extra hour and David and Mary Margaret tell everyone where they had found Hook. than before everything happened. Emma wanted to sleep also, but as she walked into the Crews Quarters, Mary Margaret followed her in and quickly shut the door behind them. Emma turned fast in alarm, only to see it was her mom.

"What do you need, Mary Margaret?: Emma asked, knowing Mary Margaret had not come in here to also sleep. Lucky for Emma, Mary Margaret cut quick to the chase.

"Why did you act that way towards Hook today?" she asked in an almost angry but curious tone.

"What do you mean? I acted how I normally do." Emma responded with a confusion-laced question.

"You are in love with him and have been mourning his loss for three days, alone. When you saw him today though, you gave him the cold shoulder and shut down his attempt to tell you he loves you back."

"I am not in love with Cap-"Emma started, as if her mother were being silly but Snow cut her off.

"I would believe you, if it were not for the fact that your calls out to him kept me up at night. When you locked yourself away for those days, you had nightmares and you always cried for 'Killian.' Today, you did not even call him Killian as you normally do. What changed to make you-"

"I can't handle the guilt and pain it all brought me!" Emma shouted at her as if she was being cornered. "When I believed he was dead, I knew it was my fault because he went searching for me. It still is my fault he got tortured. That pain at the thought of him dying alone without me there was excruciating and how I dealt with this pain and heartbreak made me an open target. A weakness that the shadow can feed on."

"I know-"Mary Margaret tried again but was cut off.

"No. You already have your 'True Love.' You already have your happily ever after." Emma choked out as her mother looked at her sadly. "Yes, I love Killian. But it is because I love him that I don't want him getting attached to me. If he has to choose to save me or himself in the jungle, I want him to save himself. Living with that guilt alone would kill me. Besides, he knows the land and Regina is here so Henry could still be saved. "

"You were so focused avoiding your feelings today, that you could not see his. Take down those walls before they cave in on you, Emma." Mary Margaret said quietly before kissing Emma's cheek and walking back out of the room leaving Emma alone.

* * *

Emma could not sleep. She kept having the same dream of Killian about to admit his feelings to her when she shut him down. The hurt look in his eyes was enough to wake her up from her sleep. Deciding against trying to sleep again, she quietly slipped out of her cot and silently tip-toed out of the quarters, shutting the door behind her. She walked up onto the deck and passed the Captain's Quarters as she made her way to the helm. She held onto the rail as she looked out onto the waves of the sea and almost screamed in surprise when she heard a voice behind her.

"Something scare you, Princess?" Hook asked, chuckling at Emma's alarmed face as she spun around to see him.

"No." Emma said bitterly, not liking that he had made her jump. "And don't call me Princess! I have told you not to before, Hook."

"Was that before or after you stopped calling me Killian?" he asked, his smile fading and turning serious.

"I don't know what you mean, Hook." Emma dismissed, turning back around to look at the water so she would not let him see how much the topic bothered her. Emma took a sharp intake of breath when Hook grabbed her by the arm and yanked her back to face him.

"Yes, you do." he growled, leaning down so their noses were nearly touching, daring her to move. "For three bloody days I believed you to be dead. I believed it to be my fault that you were dead, believing I did not defend you as well as I should have and I deserved the torture the Lost Boys inflicted on me. I truly believed I had lost another love. I find out you are alive and that I have a second chance with you and you dismiss me before I can tell you what I thought I would never have the chance to tell you."

"I would believe you did not feel the same for me, if it were not for the fact that you could not even look me in the eye while denying the feelings you had." As he said this, he had pushed Emma to the railing, where she had to lean on it to not be pressed against Hook. "Look me in the eyes, love, and tell me that you truly hold no feelings for me."

"I…" Emma tried to tell him she did not feel anything for him, but looking into his eyes, she knew she could not. Even from when they had first met he could read her like an open book. But she knew she had to stop him from saying things he could not take back; revealing feelings she could not deny reciprocating. "It would never work between us, Killian. There is no way the famous Captain Hook could settle down in the small town of Storybrooke and I have a son that needs a steady home with his family to take care of him."

"How can you stand there and tell me what I can and cannot do?" Killian asks, not able to stop the small smile from appearing on his face after her inability to deny her feelings for him. "It is passed the point of no return, lass. I would die for you if I had to. I don't know what I wouldn't do for you. But there's one thing I do know. It is that I love you, Emma. " Emma could not help the noticeable intake of breath she drew in when he finally said what she had not let him say earlier in the day.

"Killian, you don't mean that." Emma whispered as she unwillingly let a few of her walls tumble down. The look in his eyes was so honest and heartfelt. He meant what he said and held no regrets.

"I do." As Killian said this, he put his left arm at the arch of her back, his hook facing the rail, and pulled her to him so her torso pressed against his and she had to look directly up at him. Her hands were on his chest as the last defense she had against him. "You are the first thing that can be truly mine. Milah, though she loved me, was a married woman who loved adventure much more than stability. My love would have never been enough for her and I would have held her back."

"Emma, look at me." Emma tried to look away from his piercing gaze but he put his right hand up to her cheek and turned her head back towards him. "I love you more than I have ever loved any woman. It seems I have waited for you longer than I have ever waited for any woman. When I thought you to be dead, I wished I were too. Without you, I might as well be." With that being said, he put his right arm behind her back and pulled her closer as he leaned down and crushed his lips onto hers.

Emma had been about to speak when he had pulled her even closer to him and began to kiss her. The last of the walls around her heart had her push against his chest, trying to stop him, but as he kissed her more unrelenting, those walls tumbled down and she melted into him, her arms grasping at his coat lapels as she let out a sigh. He took this moment to deepen the kiss, hearing Emma let out a small moan as she slid her arms up and around his neck. This kiss was passionate and yearning and nothing like Emma had experienced before. It was a kiss that could go on forever without becoming tiring.

Eventually, they had to move for air but when they looked at each other it seemed like all they really needed was each other. It made Killian's heart warm to see Emma's cheeks flushed and her eyes wide in wonder. She should have known the kiss would have been so…perfect. This turn of events was inevitable. So it was no surprise when she pulled him back down to her again but this time softly. When her tongue grazed his lips, it was a sign of trust. It was as if she were reassuring him that everything would now be all right. Eventually they pulled apart and he had to ask the true question.

"So, what now, love?" She looked up at him quiet and considering before suddenly putting her arms behind her back, biting her lip before smirking at him.

"Well…" she said as she slowly started slinking backwards and away from him. He quirked an eyebrow at her and curiously followed her. "We definitely need to search for Henry at Skull Rock. And… you also need to tell me the reason we cannot go to Mermaid Cove." Killian nodded as her back collided with the door of his bedroom.

"We can't do that right now, darling. We can start up the search again right at day break." Hook reassured as he stepped right in front of her.

"I think we might be busy though…"Emma said mischievously as she looked up at him with innocent, wide eyes and turned the handle of the door, slowly opening it.

"With what, my love?" He asked as he watched her, confused.

"Finishing where we just left off." And with that, she grabbed him by the coat and stepped back into his dark room, pulling Killian with her. He kicked the door shut behind him with a grin as she whispered an I love you into his ear and began to kiss him in the moonlight. At this moment they both knew, without a doubt, that they would not have to worry about being lonely again.


End file.
